If we are very honest with ourselves there is a deep yearning within us to know other human beings intimately. This is a yearning to get behind the façade, to do away with the act that most of us put on when we face the world. This act is like the character in a play that we have written. We have developed this character from all of our experiences in the world. If we are withdrawn it could be that each time we interacted with the world in the past we were put down. If we are an extrovert it could be that we felt the need to push ourselves forward so that we were not overwhelmed by others.
This character through which we express ourselves has been developed out of the many, many pieces of advice that we have received over our life time. Is this character any better than the person we might be if we let down all the facades and ‘asked’ people to accept us “just as we are”? It could be less work!
The person that we really are is the one that is connected with the Self that we have been considering. The more we can get in touch with this Self the more confident we will be to just be. Trouble is, as we are learning to identify this Self among all the other habits and characteristics that have developed from all the advice we have received, we don’t stick to the way of the Self. We often fall back into our old way of operating. So how can we manage this transition better?
The best way is to start by committing ourselves to becoming aware of every thought that we have. Thinking is the most conscious thing that we do. It is much easier to control our thinking than it is to control our feelings.
So what can we change about our thinking? We can start by vetting it. We can become aware of the all the nasty things we think about people and try to become more well-mannered with our thinking. Perhaps we could decide that we won’t think things that we were not prepared to say. Try it for an hour and see how you go. Take some notes about your observations and in this way you will learn to observe your thinking much more closely. Before long, this will become an habit and you may be quite surprised at the change in our life that this will bring about.