When I try to understand my ‘I’ I am never too sure what it is. Is it me, or not me? Is it within me, or outside of me? I think of things that I could say about it to reveal its nature and the more I do that, the more elusive it is.
In my exploration of the ‘I’ I realise that there are essentially two things in this world; myself and everything else. Then I realise that everything else makes me aware of myself. Through everything else I become aware that I am an ‘I’. Who is aware of this? The ‘I’ in me. The ‘I’ is the observer. Then I realise that I can’t see the ‘I’ just as I can’t see my eye with my eye (unless I use a mirror).
It does seem a bit silly to write about this, but it is important, very important. We will never be fully conscious until we can fully understand ourselves. When we try to approach a real experience of our ‘I’ then we know that all our ideas about our self; our fears, our passions, our self-image, come from a subjective part of ourselves that is separate from this ‘I’.
The real core of our being, our ‘I’, can say to us, “Why are you fearful?” “Why are you emotional?” “Why can’t you stop thinking about that?” “Why can’t you stop biting your nails?” Once we get into this point, we can become much more objective and can say to ourselves “What have you got to be afraid of?” “Don’t get emotional, think this through.” “I have more useful things to think about than that.” “Why would someone bite their nails?” In this way, we separate our self from our ‘I’.
Our sense of self, while it is lower, enables us to experience our ‘I’. Our ‘I’ is like an overseer and it gives us a new perspective about our self and others. It also gives us the confidence to be an individual. I like to call the ‘I’ the interested observer. I like to know that I can go there when I have difficulties to deal with. I hope these words assist you to identify what is ‘I’ and what is not ‘I’ within yourself.